Healing From Post Traumatic Stress
#Cardio #Autism #Backpain #Beauty #BuildMuscle
I just returned from my walk on this gorgeous sunny day which feels like the first day of spring. Probably not the spring day you get …. nothing blooming, nothing green, as a matter of fact we still have snow, and LOTS of it. But the sun is shining so bright and so strong that the snow is melting and water is dripping off my roof. It feels so warm that even Bailey went out to do her business, and stayed out to sniff around and lay in the corner of the house to soak up some rays. It is so warm that the roads are slushy. I had to turn and glare at drivers as they go by to remind them slow down and stop spraying me with mud and water. But there is another thaw going on, I feel like it is spring in my soul.
I have been dealing with post traumatic stress after witnessing so many life-threatening events of Ken's. I wrote about the very first cardiac arrest that experienced thatasted for seventeen minutes. That was just the beginning of a long nightmarish journey.
Ken has an AICD implanted in his chest, which stands for Automatic Implantable Cardiac Defibrillator. It scared the crap out of me for the first two years. You can sometimes see it, and even the wire where it turns towards his heart. I was scared to touch it or hug him for years.
Well, one night he was feeling terrible. Of course we had company, who had just gone to bed. I did not want to disturb anyone, so I left a note saying I took Ken to the hospital. No sooner did we walk into emergency when his defibrillator fired him a shock. He was on the ground. It is horrible to witness someone getting a shock who is fully conscious. His heart was so erratic, that nothing could be done for him here, so they called for a plane to medi-vac him to Edmonton.
The transport did not happen until the next morning, and all night long he ended shock after shock – I count forty. We call that the "night of the electrical storm." Needless to say it traumatized us both. He would not let me even touch him. How do you stand next someone you love and witness their torture. I could see the look in his eyes were just wishing to die rather than end this.
That is just ONE event that I have picked up the pieces afterwards and tried to carry on as normal as best I could. But after each event, after each emergency flight out, it was as if another layer was stripped from me, and although I looked like an egg, I had no shell, just a thin membrane barely holding things together.
The last event that occurred three years ago was my breaking point. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms began to affect me physically. I got extremely sick for six months, my adrenal system was shot because it had locked in to the "fight or flight" mode for about nine months. My hair was falling out in patches leaving little bald spots. I could no longer pick up the pieces and pretend to resume life as normal. It took me two years to accept that I had been catapulted to a new land and I had to figure out how to adjust to this new culture and new language.
One of the greatest gifts I was given was a friend whose name is Robyn. She was the Psychologist at the Heart Transplant Unit, and she listened to me, and with "Talk Therapy" I began to heal. She helped me find my way in this foreign land and was my translator until I learned to speak myself.
Another great gift I have found is a group of people who are so precious and rare – they are my Gold Friends. We came together with the common goal to learn marketing and business on the internet. In the process we found more, I would even venture to say we found "soul-mates."
So after a Group Call today, as I went for my walk on this (ahem) first day of spring – I realized that more than the snow was melting. Once again after another winter season, life is stirring and spring has sprung.
Should I get really soppy? Oh alright, it made me think of the words to a song:
When the night has been too lonely
And the road too long
When you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies a seed, that with the sun's love
In the Spring becomes … the Rose!
Stress is blind-siding our nation. Tell me, what is helping you to cope or has helped you deal with stress, trauma or your emotional winter? For me it was Talk Therapy. I would love to know, please share in the comments on my website noted below:
By Elvie Look